Stress Injury: I Am Not OK (But it’s All Going to be Alright)
Stress injury is real, but you might need help to heal. The more I talk to first responders, the more I realize the need for peer support.
Those of us who have experienced a traumatic incident may have some type of lingering emotional or physical stress. Some of us don’t have a peer support system or don’t know how to ask for some help.
That is what Patroller Wellness is all about.
But there is another issue that I found. Some have a support system and know how to get help, but don’t.
If you think you are immune from being traumatized after all you have been through, think again.
Here is my story
I have been a first responder of some type or another for over 40 years. I was a police officer and an EMT, have been a ski patroller for 31 years, and am now a firefighter. Statistics show that over the course of someone’s life, they may be part of one or two traumatic events. As a first responder, it may be up to 800.
I have been involved in the hundreds. Everything from fatal accidents and infant deaths to homicides and suicides. I have also been involved in several shootings where I almost lost my life. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You know you have a stress injury when, after 20 years, you still have bad dreams now and then and tear up when you try talking about a traumatic event. Looking back, I remember that things didn’t usually hit me until about 24 hours after an incident. But when it did, it was like a ton of bricks. I didn’t know that it would hit me like that. A little education about stress injury would have been great.
We did not have peer support back then, though we did have a debriefing for one bad incident. It helped, but I needed more. I needed peer support. Luckily, I have a great wife to lean on.
In spring of 2024, while watching a rodeo event in another town, a barrel racer went off her horse and hit her head on a pipe on the side of the arena. The rider was unconscious and bleeding from her head.
I was the first to her side. She was posturing and doing the death moan. I had seen this before. My EMS skills kicked in and I took charge of the incident, giving directions to other responders and getting my patient assessment done. I was not sure this person was going to make it. She ended up with a subarachnoid brain bleed. Luckily, the bleed subsided. By the way, did I mention that the barrel racer was my wife?
I spent the next week helping her heal. She did not remember the accident. Today, she is back riding her horses and doing good.
I didn’t realize that I was going to be affected by this incident, but it hit me. This time it took about two weeks–once I knew she was going to be OK. As the Patroller Wellness Supervisor for our local ski patrol and for the Northern Division, I knew what to do and who to reach out to. The EMS Chaplain was a phone call away, but did I call? NO. Did anyone ask me if I was OK? NO. Did I want anyone to know that I was having issues? Again, NO.
About the fourth week after the incident, I did reach out and talked to a good friend who happens to be a trained peer support person. After talking about what I was going through, it seemed like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
Today I can talk about that incident and the others from my past that give me bad dreams. The more I talk about what I went through, the more it seems to help me heal. Talking is great therapy.
The point to this article is this: as first responders, we need to take care of ourselves. Asking if someone is OK right after an incident will probably get you the response “I’m OK.” We need to follow up the next day, the next week, or even the next month. And not just ask if they’re OK, but to ask how they are feeling and if they are having any issues. You will know if you get them talking.
The second thing is that even if you’re a veteran in the EMS world, it can still hit you. Ask for help or hopefully someone will check up on you. Peer Support.
The song “I Am Not OK (But it’s All Going to be Alright)” by Jelly Roll really hits home.
Be safe and take care of each other.
Jeff Azure
Northern Division Patroller Wellness Supervisor
Those of us who have experienced a traumatic incident may have some type of lingering emotional or physical stress. Some of us don’t have a peer support system or don’t know how to ask for some help.
That is what Patroller Wellness is all about.
But there is another issue that I found. Some have a support system and know how to get help, but don’t.
If you think you are immune from being traumatized after all you have been through, think again.
Here is my story
I have been a first responder of some type or another for over 40 years. I was a police officer and an EMT, have been a ski patroller for 31 years, and am now a firefighter. Statistics show that over the course of someone’s life, they may be part of one or two traumatic events. As a first responder, it may be up to 800.
I have been involved in the hundreds. Everything from fatal accidents and infant deaths to homicides and suicides. I have also been involved in several shootings where I almost lost my life. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You know you have a stress injury when, after 20 years, you still have bad dreams now and then and tear up when you try talking about a traumatic event. Looking back, I remember that things didn’t usually hit me until about 24 hours after an incident. But when it did, it was like a ton of bricks. I didn’t know that it would hit me like that. A little education about stress injury would have been great.
We did not have peer support back then, though we did have a debriefing for one bad incident. It helped, but I needed more. I needed peer support. Luckily, I have a great wife to lean on.
In spring of 2024, while watching a rodeo event in another town, a barrel racer went off her horse and hit her head on a pipe on the side of the arena. The rider was unconscious and bleeding from her head.
I was the first to her side. She was posturing and doing the death moan. I had seen this before. My EMS skills kicked in and I took charge of the incident, giving directions to other responders and getting my patient assessment done. I was not sure this person was going to make it. She ended up with a subarachnoid brain bleed. Luckily, the bleed subsided. By the way, did I mention that the barrel racer was my wife?
I spent the next week helping her heal. She did not remember the accident. Today, she is back riding her horses and doing good.
I didn’t realize that I was going to be affected by this incident, but it hit me. This time it took about two weeks–once I knew she was going to be OK. As the Patroller Wellness Supervisor for our local ski patrol and for the Northern Division, I knew what to do and who to reach out to. The EMS Chaplain was a phone call away, but did I call? NO. Did anyone ask me if I was OK? NO. Did I want anyone to know that I was having issues? Again, NO.
About the fourth week after the incident, I did reach out and talked to a good friend who happens to be a trained peer support person. After talking about what I was going through, it seemed like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
Today I can talk about that incident and the others from my past that give me bad dreams. The more I talk about what I went through, the more it seems to help me heal. Talking is great therapy.
The point to this article is this: as first responders, we need to take care of ourselves. Asking if someone is OK right after an incident will probably get you the response “I’m OK.” We need to follow up the next day, the next week, or even the next month. And not just ask if they’re OK, but to ask how they are feeling and if they are having any issues. You will know if you get them talking.
The second thing is that even if you’re a veteran in the EMS world, it can still hit you. Ask for help or hopefully someone will check up on you. Peer Support.
The song “I Am Not OK (But it’s All Going to be Alright)” by Jelly Roll really hits home.
Be safe and take care of each other.
Jeff Azure
Northern Division Patroller Wellness Supervisor